people/musings

The Boy Who Cried Wolf With Unsolicited Advice

You all have some relation to the type of person that I’m going to talk about here. Every workplace, every group of friends and every family has them. These people must comment on everything. Not on the news, events, issues or controversial topics though. Just on everything that you’re doing—how you work, how you’re cooking, how you clean, how you sweep, how you sleep. (Okay maybe not that last one, but you get what I’m saying.) They must offer up a suggestion or an opinion at every possible opportunity or interval – especially when least warranted – on how you could improve what you are doing or how they learned how it should be done. They are not, however, a know-it-all.

They are a ‘know-it-now’. The distinction is this: a know-it-all seeks to make us all aware of the exceedingly impressive (or obnoxious) amount of knowledge they have about geography, Socialism, the history of pizza, Brazilian soccer, derivatives… everything. A ‘know-it-now’ is not substantively well-informed about any great number of things, except of course, whatever you’re doing, right now. It’s as if scientists have put the genes of an engineer, an accountant, a mechanic, an M.B.A and Steve Jobs into one person. These people were taught a better method; they can show you a more efficient process for completion of a task; or they just simply know another way something could (read: should) be done. Or so they say.

Although this unfortunate habit is rarely apparent to these know-it-nows, it does not render the very real problem with their tendencies any less significant—for what they do becomes more of a problem for them than anyone else. These individuals are so prone to offering unwanted recommendations and unsolicited advice that their colleagues, family members, friends, and all the other people on the receiving end, begin to disregard their input entirely. This becomes a greater issue for everyone involved when these individuals are being ignored in situations where their perspective or point-of-view would be of value!

I call what they do ‘crying wolf with unsolicited advice’ because of the net of it. When you lie enough, people begin to stop believing you even when you’re telling the truth. In the same way, the result of frequently offering a comment or advice, when it’s not necessary or asked for, is people no longer considering what you have to say seriously or outright ignoring you. As I mentioned, this is not beneficial to anyone involved.

So the next time you’re about to comment or criticize, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is of solid value and will hit the recipient like a ton of bricks. The alternative is having what you have to say – insightful or not – regarded as fluff.